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Soldier
Yumi Arza
Image


Weapon / Power:

Levihthans Claw: A sword carved from a powerful Seadweller. This sword returns to its user if its separated too far from it’s wielder, change forms from a small dagger to a large buster Sword and can be used as a hoverboard.

Arzanian Destruction Magic- The Arzanians, although extremely powerful and strong, cannot shoot magic projectiles and fully make spells and curses. Instead, they were left with physically-oriented magic that they can use as armor or a way to bolster their attacks.

Magic Absorption- She can slowly absorb her enemies’ life force and magic once she touches them. The longer she has her hands on her enemy, the more she magic she takes.

Arzanian Strength: Unlike most witches and wizards, the Arza magic clan mainly practiced ways of using magic to increase their strength and/or durability in certain parts of their body. Yumi would mainly use this to increase the strength of her limbs.

Small knowledge of Fire magic- She recently began to train with Ube and learn the ways of fire magic however in order for her to cast spells she has to chant them

Full Potential (requires cierites to be consumed)- Allows her to cast complete spells and magic that she couldn't before for a short amount of time. (Depending on the cierites she consumes or the amount she takes.)

> Fire Ruby - Useless
> Magical Amethyst - Allows herself to turn invisible, create small illusions and do a few curses
> Shocking Topaz - Fully Grants Electricity magic
> Corrosive Emerald - Allows Yumi to spit out corrosive acid from her mouth
> Icy Sapphire - Unknown
> Gravity Zincite - Gives her the ability of Gravity magic
> Jewels - Unknown
> Radiant Cierite - Unknown

Strengths:
- Can survive high falls due to her strong arms and legs.
- She’s strategic.
- She fights in a feral-like manner that both confuses her opponents and sets them aback.
- Immune to poisons and plagues.
- She can smell and hear extremely well.
- She can see in the dark.

Weaknesses:
- Cierites are similar to steroids, but far more lethal. The more Cierites she consumes, the more she tires her body out. The effects vary depending on the Cierite she consumes.

--- Regular Cierite - Causes exhaustion and dizziness.
--- Jewel - A slower heart rate which can lead to death.
--- Radiant Cierite - Instant death.

- If her tail is pulled, she becomes paralyzed.
- Limited Cierite supply. (Check Below in the section "Cierites" to see how many she has.)
- The magic absorption power can be stopped if her opponent moves or she lets go.
- Anyone who’s trained in martial arts, or is just good at hand to hand combat can beat Yumi's feral fighting style fairly easily.
- Any high-pitched ringing can stun yumi for a short amount of time.
- Her magical abilities are supported by her stamina, which can run out very easily.

Personality:
Recently she's been showing a change in behavior approaching situations more calmly before showing any signs of anger in a fight. However her brutal and adrenaline like behaivor hasn't changed a single bit. She usually keeps all her pent up anger held up until the times needed for it. When not fighting shes happy go lucky always willing to participate in a fun activity. What's causing this change in behaivor? Some of her members say its due to her accepting her role as leader and wanting to keep a firm bond with the members. Others say its cause of her new need to want to meet new people.
Character Bio:

Height: 5'8

Age: 18

What are Arzanians : 
The Arzanians are a group of witches and warlocks that have settled down in the deep void of The Unknown. Most of them were exiled from the MicFortess, due to their practices of the forbidden destructives known as "Arzanian Magic", which is where they adopted their name.

Some of them willingly left to follow their "Astrid"; she was the first person to use this dark magic. The woman was heavily respected among the Arzans, as she was both powerful and fearless.


Who is Yumi? : 
Yumi is one of the Five Royal children of Astrid. Like her mother she was respected among her people, and they all treated her as the princess she was. The people would give her food and gifts, but none of that mattered to her. All she wanted was to experience Cier in her own right.

She remembers her father telling her his old war stories in the lands of Cier. She always loved to hear the stories, as it filled her with happiness and curiosity. As time went on, she would tell her mother about how she wished to go outside the void of The Unknown and go to Cier. Her mother didn't approve of Yumi’s childish dream, telling her Cier is the complete opposite of what she thinks it is. Astrid tried instilling fear into Yumi so she would stay away from Cier, but all it did was make her view her mother as a crusher of dreams.

Because of that, Yumi ran away from the settlement, unknown to her that she would never be able to return. She didn't mind though, her goal was to learn more about Cier herself, and years later, A man by the name of "Milo" took her in as if she was his own daughter.

As time went on their connection grew larger and larger. Feeling as if it was hurting him just not to say he told her the truth about her people, That her mother never lied. That they was banished and forced to live in a world of true hell for sins that's underserved. Her first thought was to try and destroy Micfortress on her own,however she knew she would've been killed at first sight. She joined Milos mercenary group known as "Kaotic" and became Milos co leader together they was to grow stronger, destroy Mic fortress and free her people.

Sadly tragedy struck and Milo was killed in battle leaving yumi yet again Alone and Lost. As his last will she was given the role of leader in Kaotic, giving her they say so for when the destruction of Mic fortress to begin. Years have passed now and she still hasn't done this why?


Comic Demo: : Image
Image



Duelist Statistics:
Rank: Bronze

Full Length Duels: 0 win / 0 loss
Short Length Duels: 0 win / 0 loss
Speed Battles: 0 win / 0 loss
Comic Duels: 2 win / 0 loss

Duel History:
Highgate Haul
Yumi(Master_of_Stardust) Vs Dekon(Ganjasubba)
Yumi (Master of Stardust) vs Xenost (MCTiloAnims)


Milo Xirtri

Image


Weapon / Power:
Respawn-Each time hes killed he comes back but slows down due to the pain

Magic Circle- A circle on his neck thats revealed in battle it plays as a pocket dimension for his powers and weapons

Thoroar's Sword
A sword that can transform into 4 different forms
Red Mode
Milo gains the ability of shield manipulation as long as the sword is in his hands and hes focused
Blue Mode
Hes able to use teleport based magic and his able to teleport to the sword as long as its in a close loacation if further away hell swap locations with the sword
Green Mode
Expels dangerous acidic liquid that is said to be explosive this form is highly dangerous even to Milo and the sword becomes very easy to break

Death Form- A dark transformation where milos speed increase

Strengths:
Milo knows most forms of Martial Arts
The swords can transform every 30 seconds if he wants it to
Although Milo seems dumb he is very intelligent
Milo is very determined to kill his target
The blindfold that he wears makes it looks as if he cant see but he can actually see alot better than the average human
Ziplines are extremely
Knows parkour

Weaknesses:
-Milo Relies on speed so his attacks may not hurt as much as the average duelist
-Respawn will cause Milo to get exhausted each time hes killed due to the pain
-Milos strategy is to take hits and throw them back harder this can cause his downfall
-The ziplines in death mode can be cut very easily
-Although he knows all forms he hasn't mastered them
-Never Blocks(Close combat)
-He is cocky
-Milo always wants to fight fair
-In Death Form his speed can be used against him if he gets hit he'll crash and cause major damage.
-The magic circle is what keeps him around in the realm, if it is destroyed his body just fades away
-The sword transforms at random
-Can be knocked out easily
-Milo isn't good at taking face shots
-If he hasn't killed the target before his death mode times out he will begin to feel pain in his heart no matter how many times he dies this could cause his defeat.

Personality:

Milo
-Very unpredictable
-Loves to toy with his enemies emotions
-Mischievous
-Hard to understand
-Curses a lot
-Lazy Af
-Super Pervy
-Acts a way for a certain reason
-Loud
-Destructive and craves death
-Never Panics
-Plan out an Asshole
-Cares a lot about his friends
-Always knows what to do
-Friendly(towards his friends)
-Rarely shows his hatred for humans
-Talks to dia a lot makes him look crazy
-Hates when hes mistaken for a female (in his real form)
-Enjoys partying
-Knows how to imitate a personality to get hus way

Animated Demo (going to update this soon)::
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHzZa6YC5oY

Comic Demo (going to update these soon):


Duelist Statistics:
Rank: Bronze

Full Length Duels: 0 win / 1 loss
Short Length Duels: 1 win / 0 loss
Speed Battles: 0 win / 0 loss
Comic Duels: 0 win / 0 loss

Duel History:
Milo (Master_of_Stardust) vs Mira(Renegami)
Milo(Master_of_Stardust) Vs Larry(Shuga)


Cierite:
ImageImageImageImageImageImage

¦ 1 ¦¦ 1 ¦¦ 1 ¦¦ 2 ¦¦ 0 ¦¦ 1 ¦

ImageImageImageImageImageImage

¦ 0 ¦¦ 0 ¦¦ 0 ¦¦ 0 ¦¦ 0 ¦¦ 0 ¦

ImageImage

¦ 0 ¦¦ 0 ¦

Last edited by Halcyon on November 11th, 2018, 1:04 am, edited 74 times in total.
Reason: Post-Duel Update
User avatar
Farmer
Hi there :)

Yeeaahhh this guy is way to OP mah friend

Not being able to die is very OP, now i know you made him out to be "Death" and all, and we all know death can't die, But Respawning after being killed is way to OP, i suggest you put a really good weakness for this Ex. When Milo is "killed", both his companions must stop the fight and declare his opponent the winner, they must then perform a ritual to revive him, it'll take at least 2 week to complete (depending on the severity of his wounds, eg. missing limbs = longer ritual, stabbed in the chest = shorter ritual) or you have to replace this power, sorry


Next is your Death Stare power, looking into his eyes = dead.... come on man D:, again this power needs to be nerfed or replaced with something else, or taken out entirely


Now Death Form, hmm.. i suggest just replacing/nerfing the kills everything around the Reaper part, to maybe creates a huge explosion of black magic, or something similar, its up to you :)


Up next is Reality Bomb, 200 square miles is very very large man, thats like a city or two (i think), the AOE needs to be severely reduced no more that 50 meters, and i think this is pushing it already


Let's move on to your strength list cause i think there are some that needs /nerfing/replacing

-Cant Die (because hes death silly) - this needs to be replaced/taken out, cause i've said above its is OP
-His respawn ability is automatic and requires no energy - again this needs to be replaced/taken out, cause i've said above its is OP
-The reality Bomb can also kill anybody that is immortal - this needs to be replaced cause no duelist is immortal,( just really hard to kill)
-He understands his wounds will only heal if he dies so he may sometimes kill him self - this needs to be replaced/taken out, cause i've said above its is OP

There are also problems in your weakness list sorry

-Milo can be knocked out just don't kill him or this will revive him with fixed wounds - this needs to be replaced/taken out, cause i've said above respawning after death is OP
-He also can get hurt just like any other human and the only way to fix his wounds is for him to die - this can stay if you plan on nerfing the Respawn power
-In Death Mode he will be kinda slow and he will have to be uncomfortably close in order for him to immediately kill you. this needs to be nerfed, cause immediate death is OP even if he is very close, maybe just make him slow but hits really really hard
-The reality bomb will kill milo as in actually kill him so he wont use this unless its for a last resort - this is not really a weakness cause if he gets killed, he will just Respawn... see how OP not dying is :P
-Cant really do the stuff he used to do because he used his powers to revive Diamanda and Tourmaline what do you mean by this? all his current powers are not at their full potential, if thats the case then man, this guy is even more OP, please maybe replace or edit this

And lastly (Yay) your demo does not meet the 30 seconds of fighting requirement, your demo was mostly talking (am sorry) not much fighting, you must showcase all the powers that you have listed, in your demo, you didn't even show the Reality Bomb ability in your demo. So please fix these issues I've mentioned then i think you have a greater chance of getting accepted.

Thank you for reading all the way through :D

ps: I may have missed some things, but another person might come along and remedy that :D

User avatar
Villager
Far too op. Nerf please.

User avatar
Soldier
Diamanda and Tourmaline are pretty balanced (though, Tourmaline's extreme strength needs to be toned down a bit,) but Milo is much too powerful.

Most of the points were already mentioned by silverbro, above, though let me add some of my thoughts.
*The fire swords are fine.

*Death Stare - This is too powerful and has pretty much no counter unless the opponent was blind. Besides that, this wouldn't make for a very exciting battle if his opponent makes eye contact and just dies immediately.

*Death Form - Classic alt/enhanced-mode type deal. Though I'd prefer to see other things or even more creative modes, this is fine, if not for the fact that killing everything within a radius around Milo would be the same problem as above, unless you meant to say it kills like grass and small animals just for effect and doesn't actually kill the opponent if Milo's close to them.

*Reality Bomb - That's basically a nuke, even if it kills Milo himself, that leaves too much of an aftermath in the environment.

For your story, for lore/story reasons it's not allowed to have done or been involved significant event in your Duelist's backstory. This being the fact that Milo apparently committed a Duelist genocide in the past timeline. Besides that, a Duelist genocide should be really hard to pull off which just adds to Milo's overpowered state.

The stories of Lucas and Caroline are actually decently compelling, and I think this'd be better as your own series rather than a 3-in-1 Duelist.

Anyway, let me ping some mods for you. They'll help you balance these/this Duelist out more.
@Amy @Sareth
Good luck, guy!

User avatar
Villager
Wait a minute...
3 peoples are allowed?
wow... then I think technically any numbers of peoples are Ok if they're all in one duelist app?

User avatar
Soldier
xxX_silent_Xxx wrote:
Wait a minute...
3 peoples are allowed?
wow... then I think technically any numbers of peoples are Ok if they're all in one duelist app?


This is still an application, and not in the official roster yet, so you can't really call this "allowed" until the mods approve the app itself.

User avatar
Villager
oh yeh, it is.. :P

User avatar
Duel Mod
@Master_of_Stardust --- Alright, let's get this over with. To start off, most of the abilities stated here are waaay in the OP side, especially Milo's.

Master_of_Stardust wrote:
Milo
Unknown Fire Swords- At some point he gained access(stole) from Hephaestus inventory and gained the ability to control up to 4 blades at a time
Re spawn- Gives him the ability to come back to life every time hes killed
Death Stare-Looking into his eyes results in immediate death
Death Form-Goes into a dark like state spawning a scythe and everything around the reaper will die.
Life Energy Absorption- Absorbs an enemies energy causing Milo to get stronger and the enemy weaker
Reality Bomb- A bomb that shifts reality and destroys anything that is 200 sq miles away from him

[ ] Re-spawn
>> The ability to come back to life every single time he dies? Well, I guess it's fine to have something like this. But as a power, probably not. Unless a restriction or something is put up, this would be considered OP. Let's say, for example, if he dies, then victory would go over to his opponents, then he just revives. Something like that. If you don't want that, well, you're gonna have to tone this ability down.

[ ] Death Stare
>> To be honest with you, this power seems a bit too OP. I mean, look, it's insta-win for him if they simply look into his eyes. Milo didn't even have to lay a hand on them, just stare at them then BAM! He wins. Ain't that overpowered to you? No? Well, to us, it is. Like the previous one, you will need to come up with a weakness for this ability to tone it down.

[ ] Death Form
>> Again, it is an overpowered ability. Like, seriously, what's the point of going into a "dark state" when its passive ability would already kill his opponents? Maybe I'm understanding this thing wrong, but still, it's OP. You either need to completely rewrite this out OR add a restriction/weakness/limitation to balance it out if you wish to keep this ability.

[ ] Life Energy Absorption
>> I guess this is fine, but a weakness is still strongly advised. Let's say, he can't completely absorb his enemies' life energy. It would result in an insta-kill (and insta-win) if he can drain his opponents' energies.

[ ] Reality Bomb
>> 200 square miles?! That's HUGE! As in, about the size of a small city or something... This either needs a complete rework, or, if you want to keep this ability, tone down the range a bit. And by "a bit", I mean "a lot".

Master_of_Stardust wrote:
Dimanda
Inferno Guns- Able to spawn almost any type of gun
Shotlock- one of her eyes is replaced with a Deadshot Booster that increases her chance at hitting her target ultimately killing them.
Omega Blaster- A blast that is said to be so powerful it almost blew up Tourmaline when his barrier was up.

[ ] Inferno Guns
>> I don't find any other problems with this one other than the fact that you didn't specify really what kinds of guns she can and can not spawn. Please do that to make things clear.

[ ] Shotlock
>> I suppose this one is fine... (I don't know about the mods' opinions though) ...but you might wanna add a weakness to this.

[ ] Omega Blaster
>> "So powerful it almost blew up Tourmaline when his barrier was up." --- Um, please tell me this is like a last-resort sort of ability. If not, then it would be considered OP, as she could just obliterate anyone anytime she wants with this. I would strongly advise you should add a cooldown for this power, to balance things down.

Master_of_Stardust wrote:
Tourmaline
Energy Shield Manipulation- can create a shield by clamping his 2 first together.
Red Rage- goes into a deep rage turning him red and makes him want to kill his target no matter what he also gains the ability rush which he can use as a boost
Extreme Strength- Can lift more than 72,370 lbs

[ ] Extreme Strength
>> May I ask what object(s) weigh/s that heavy?

I only covered the trio's abilities as there was a lot to review and it was already nighttime here. I'll just leave the rest for everyone else (especially the mods) to review... Just fix all these (and what others said) up, and you should have a slightly higher chance of getting accepted. For now, good luck~!

User avatar
Monk
One thing: Having more than one character fighting is a major power or strength, which to me seems like it needs some sort of major weakness to balance out. Unless the other two never fight, there needs to be some sort of drawback to having them there, or making them almost negligibly weak in the grander scheme.

User avatar
Soldier
wtf are these long ass comments

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