Favorites
Show All / Manage

You have no favorites.


Page 1 of 3   |   Go to page   |   1, 2, 3  Next
User avatar
Soldier
Yumi(Dia)
Image


Weapon / Power:

Weapon
Leviathan- an old large blade that looks broken. Shes had this since creation

Power
Aura Manipulation- Taps into her animalistic aura and uses it for such things as projectiles,shields and invisibility.

Perks
Blood Lust(10%)- When shes gained enough damage all have her senses enhances and she loses her mind and wants nothing more than to dice up her opponent

Forms
25%-"Overload" Her 1st form in this state her aura builds up like heat and strengthen her punches. However she loses her consciousness, her ability to talk, communicate and her sight she sadly cannot use aura manipulation in this state. When it wears out shell be exhausted and hardly able to breath.

Strengths:
Relies on her aura manipulation and power
Super Strength
Can do parkour
Immunity to acid
Determined to fight to the very end
Flexible
Can see in the dark

Weaknesses:
-Her race is nocturnal so she will pass out a lot in daytime
-If she hits to hard shell break her own gauntlet which is connected to her blood stream.
-Her tail is a massive weakness as shell become paralyzed for a few seconds grabbed however if cut she will be paralyzed but it wont be as long as when grabbed.
-Low stamina
-Although her hearing his good a loud pitch noise could make her hearing be disabled
-Her head is a massive weakness as her race doesn't have hearts to kill her immediately aim for the brain
-Overload leaves her completely tired and weak
-Not Good at Hand to Hand combat
-If lost to much blood shell become dizzy
-BloodLust doesn't last long and can only be used once per day

Personality:
-Always listening to rap or jazz
-Very Very Violent
-Tomboy (Heavily dislikes dresses or skirts)
-Kills not for love,depression or dead parents but out of fun
-Hates long fights
-Tsundere (To close friends)
-Relies on Survival Instincts
-Isnt capable of feeling sympathy for her killing
-Will kill or torture anything and anyone(Even a child)
-Loves being pat on the head
-Insane
-Anything that's out side of killing and trying to survive she either cant do it or doesnt know it


Age: 215

Species:Entity of Destruction

Character Bio:
The Leader of the Faction "Kaotic" also the younger sister of yami(dash) . She may seem cute and kind but its best shes left alone. As she is a murderous psychopath killing almost anything and anyone that comes her way, there's no line she wont cross and no limit. Shes feared to be extremely dangerous and must be killed or defeated immediately. Her creator and birth is a mystery.

Companions

Cayden- An old robot from aether 1 that holds human emotions. He was with yumi since her creation 200 years ago. She treats this robot as if it was her own brother.


Animated Demo:

https://youtu.be/E2He-vKbTE4
Rushed anim


Comic demo:


Duelist Statistics:
Rank: Bronze

Full Length Duels: 0 win / 0 loss
Short Length Duels: 0 win / 0 loss
Speed Battles: 0 win / 0 loss
Comic Duels: 0 win / 0 loss

Duel History:
Highgate Haul


Milo Xirtri

Image


Weapon / Power:
Respawn-Each time hes killed he comes back but slows down due to the pain

Magic Circle- A circle on his neck thats revealed in battle it plays as a pocket dimension for his powers and weapons

Thoroar's Sword
A sword that can transform into 4 different forms
Red Mode
Milo gains the ability of shield manipulation as long as the sword is in his hands and hes focused
Blue Mode
Hes able to use teleport based magic and his able to teleport to the sword as long as its in a close loacation if further away hell swap locations with the sword
Green Mode
Expels dangerous acidic liquid that is said to be explosive this form is highly dangerous even to Milo and the sword becomes very easy to break

Death Form- A dark transformation where milos speed increase

Strengths:
Milo knows most forms of Martial Arts
The swords can transform every 30 seconds if he wants it to
Although Milo seems dumb he is very intelligent
Milo is very determined to kill his target
The blindfold that he wears makes it looks as if he cant see but he can actually see alot better than the average human
Ziplines are extremely
Knows parkour

Weaknesses:
-Milo Relies on speed so his attacks may not hurt as much as the average duelist
-Respawn will cause Milo to get exhausted each time hes killed due to the pain
-Milos strategy is to take hits and throw them back harder this can cause his downfall
-The ziplines in death mode can be cut very easily
-Although he knows all forms he hasn't mastered them
-Never Blocks(Close combat)
-He is cocky
-Milo always wants to fight fair
-In Death Form his speed can be used against him if he gets hit he'll crash and cause major damage.
-The magic circle is what keeps him around in the realm, if it is destroyed his body just fades away
-The sword transforms at random
-Can be knocked out easily
-Milo isn't good at taking face shots
-If he hasn't killed the target before his death mode times out he will begin to feel pain in his heart no matter how many times he dies this could cause his defeat.

Personality:

Milo
-Very unpredictable
-Loves to toy with his enemies emotions
-Mischievous
-Hard to understand
-Curses a lot
-Lazy Af
-Super Pervy
-Acts a way for a certain reason
-Loud
-Destructive and craves death
-Never Panics
-Plan out an Asshole
-Cares a lot about his friends
-Always knows what to do
-Friendly(towards his friends)
-Rarely shows his hatred for humans
-Talks to dia a lot makes him look crazy
-Hates when hes mistaken for a female (in his real form)
-Enjoys partying
-Knows how to imitate a personality to get hus way

Animated Demo (going to update this soon)::
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHzZa6YC5oY

Comic Demo (going to update these soon):


Duelist Statistics:
Rank: Silver

Full Length Duels: 0 win / 0 loss
Short Length Duels: 1 win / 0 loss
Speed Battles: 0 win / 0 loss
Comic Duels: 0 win / 0 loss

Duel History:
Milo (Master_of_Stardust) vs Mira(Renegami)


Cierite:
ImageImageImageImageImageImage

║ 1 ║║ 1 ║║ 0 ║║ 2 ║║ 0 ║║ 0 ║

ImageImageImageImageImageImage

║ 0 ║║ 0 ║║ 0 ║║ 0 ║║ 0 ║║ 0 ║

ImageImage

║ 0 ║║ 0 ║

Last edited by Sareth on May 29th, 2018, 12:39 pm, edited 68 times in total.
Reason: User requested update AND Update stats
User avatar
Farmer
Hi there :)

Yeeaahhh this guy is way to OP mah friend

Not being able to die is very OP, now i know you made him out to be "Death" and all, and we all know death can't die, But Respawning after being killed is way to OP, i suggest you put a really good weakness for this Ex. When Milo is "killed", both his companions must stop the fight and declare his opponent the winner, they must then perform a ritual to revive him, it'll take at least 2 week to complete (depending on the severity of his wounds, eg. missing limbs = longer ritual, stabbed in the chest = shorter ritual) or you have to replace this power, sorry


Next is your Death Stare power, looking into his eyes = dead.... come on man D:, again this power needs to be nerfed or replaced with something else, or taken out entirely


Now Death Form, hmm.. i suggest just replacing/nerfing the kills everything around the Reaper part, to maybe creates a huge explosion of black magic, or something similar, its up to you :)


Up next is Reality Bomb, 200 square miles is very very large man, thats like a city or two (i think), the AOE needs to be severely reduced no more that 50 meters, and i think this is pushing it already


Let's move on to your strength list cause i think there are some that needs /nerfing/replacing

-Cant Die (because hes death silly) - this needs to be replaced/taken out, cause i've said above its is OP
-His respawn ability is automatic and requires no energy - again this needs to be replaced/taken out, cause i've said above its is OP
-The reality Bomb can also kill anybody that is immortal - this needs to be replaced cause no duelist is immortal,( just really hard to kill)
-He understands his wounds will only heal if he dies so he may sometimes kill him self - this needs to be replaced/taken out, cause i've said above its is OP

There are also problems in your weakness list sorry

-Milo can be knocked out just don't kill him or this will revive him with fixed wounds - this needs to be replaced/taken out, cause i've said above respawning after death is OP
-He also can get hurt just like any other human and the only way to fix his wounds is for him to die - this can stay if you plan on nerfing the Respawn power
-In Death Mode he will be kinda slow and he will have to be uncomfortably close in order for him to immediately kill you. this needs to be nerfed, cause immediate death is OP even if he is very close, maybe just make him slow but hits really really hard
-The reality bomb will kill milo as in actually kill him so he wont use this unless its for a last resort - this is not really a weakness cause if he gets killed, he will just Respawn... see how OP not dying is :P
-Cant really do the stuff he used to do because he used his powers to revive Diamanda and Tourmaline what do you mean by this? all his current powers are not at their full potential, if thats the case then man, this guy is even more OP, please maybe replace or edit this

And lastly (Yay) your demo does not meet the 30 seconds of fighting requirement, your demo was mostly talking (am sorry) not much fighting, you must showcase all the powers that you have listed, in your demo, you didn't even show the Reality Bomb ability in your demo. So please fix these issues I've mentioned then i think you have a greater chance of getting accepted.

Thank you for reading all the way through :D

ps: I may have missed some things, but another person might come along and remedy that :D

User avatar
Villager
Far too op. Nerf please.

User avatar
Soldier
Diamanda and Tourmaline are pretty balanced (though, Tourmaline's extreme strength needs to be toned down a bit,) but Milo is much too powerful.

Most of the points were already mentioned by silverbro, above, though let me add some of my thoughts.
*The fire swords are fine.

*Death Stare - This is too powerful and has pretty much no counter unless the opponent was blind. Besides that, this wouldn't make for a very exciting battle if his opponent makes eye contact and just dies immediately.

*Death Form - Classic alt/enhanced-mode type deal. Though I'd prefer to see other things or even more creative modes, this is fine, if not for the fact that killing everything within a radius around Milo would be the same problem as above, unless you meant to say it kills like grass and small animals just for effect and doesn't actually kill the opponent if Milo's close to them.

*Reality Bomb - That's basically a nuke, even if it kills Milo himself, that leaves too much of an aftermath in the environment.

For your story, for lore/story reasons it's not allowed to have done or been involved significant event in your Duelist's backstory. This being the fact that Milo apparently committed a Duelist genocide in the past timeline. Besides that, a Duelist genocide should be really hard to pull off which just adds to Milo's overpowered state.

The stories of Lucas and Caroline are actually decently compelling, and I think this'd be better as your own series rather than a 3-in-1 Duelist.

Anyway, let me ping some mods for you. They'll help you balance these/this Duelist out more.
@Amy @Sareth
Good luck, guy!

User avatar
Villager
Wait a minute...
3 peoples are allowed?
wow... then I think technically any numbers of peoples are Ok if they're all in one duelist app?

User avatar
Soldier
xxX_silent_Xxx wrote:
Wait a minute...
3 peoples are allowed?
wow... then I think technically any numbers of peoples are Ok if they're all in one duelist app?


This is still an application, and not in the official roster yet, so you can't really call this "allowed" until the mods approve the app itself.

User avatar
Villager
oh yeh, it is.. :P

User avatar
Duel Mod
@Master_of_Stardust --- Alright, let's get this over with. To start off, most of the abilities stated here are waaay in the OP side, especially Milo's.

Master_of_Stardust wrote:
Milo
Unknown Fire Swords- At some point he gained access(stole) from Hephaestus inventory and gained the ability to control up to 4 blades at a time
Re spawn- Gives him the ability to come back to life every time hes killed
Death Stare-Looking into his eyes results in immediate death
Death Form-Goes into a dark like state spawning a scythe and everything around the reaper will die.
Life Energy Absorption- Absorbs an enemies energy causing Milo to get stronger and the enemy weaker
Reality Bomb- A bomb that shifts reality and destroys anything that is 200 sq miles away from him

[ ] Re-spawn
>> The ability to come back to life every single time he dies? Well, I guess it's fine to have something like this. But as a power, probably not. Unless a restriction or something is put up, this would be considered OP. Let's say, for example, if he dies, then victory would go over to his opponents, then he just revives. Something like that. If you don't want that, well, you're gonna have to tone this ability down.

[ ] Death Stare
>> To be honest with you, this power seems a bit too OP. I mean, look, it's insta-win for him if they simply look into his eyes. Milo didn't even have to lay a hand on them, just stare at them then BAM! He wins. Ain't that overpowered to you? No? Well, to us, it is. Like the previous one, you will need to come up with a weakness for this ability to tone it down.

[ ] Death Form
>> Again, it is an overpowered ability. Like, seriously, what's the point of going into a "dark state" when its passive ability would already kill his opponents? Maybe I'm understanding this thing wrong, but still, it's OP. You either need to completely rewrite this out OR add a restriction/weakness/limitation to balance it out if you wish to keep this ability.

[ ] Life Energy Absorption
>> I guess this is fine, but a weakness is still strongly advised. Let's say, he can't completely absorb his enemies' life energy. It would result in an insta-kill (and insta-win) if he can drain his opponents' energies.

[ ] Reality Bomb
>> 200 square miles?! That's HUGE! As in, about the size of a small city or something... This either needs a complete rework, or, if you want to keep this ability, tone down the range a bit. And by "a bit", I mean "a lot".

Master_of_Stardust wrote:
Dimanda
Inferno Guns- Able to spawn almost any type of gun
Shotlock- one of her eyes is replaced with a Deadshot Booster that increases her chance at hitting her target ultimately killing them.
Omega Blaster- A blast that is said to be so powerful it almost blew up Tourmaline when his barrier was up.

[ ] Inferno Guns
>> I don't find any other problems with this one other than the fact that you didn't specify really what kinds of guns she can and can not spawn. Please do that to make things clear.

[ ] Shotlock
>> I suppose this one is fine... (I don't know about the mods' opinions though) ...but you might wanna add a weakness to this.

[ ] Omega Blaster
>> "So powerful it almost blew up Tourmaline when his barrier was up." --- Um, please tell me this is like a last-resort sort of ability. If not, then it would be considered OP, as she could just obliterate anyone anytime she wants with this. I would strongly advise you should add a cooldown for this power, to balance things down.

Master_of_Stardust wrote:
Tourmaline
Energy Shield Manipulation- can create a shield by clamping his 2 first together.
Red Rage- goes into a deep rage turning him red and makes him want to kill his target no matter what he also gains the ability rush which he can use as a boost
Extreme Strength- Can lift more than 72,370 lbs

[ ] Extreme Strength
>> May I ask what object(s) weigh/s that heavy?

I only covered the trio's abilities as there was a lot to review and it was already nighttime here. I'll just leave the rest for everyone else (especially the mods) to review... Just fix all these (and what others said) up, and you should have a slightly higher chance of getting accepted. For now, good luck~!

User avatar
Duel Mod
One thing: Having more than one character fighting is a major power or strength, which to me seems like it needs some sort of major weakness to balance out. Unless the other two never fight, there needs to be some sort of drawback to having them there, or making them almost negligibly weak in the grander scheme.

User avatar
Soldier
wtf are these long ass comments

Page 1 of 3   |   Go to page   |   1, 2, 3  Next
Search for:

Oh dear. Looks like there was a problem.
You are using a browser that doesn't support the technology this website uses.

Don't fret. There are solutions.

Oh dear. Looks like there was a problem.
You are using a version of Internet Explorer that this site doesn't support.

Don't fret. There are solutions.